A number of years ago I was listening to an audio tape on which the speaker was explaining how the brain cannot tell the difference between negative thoughts directed at someone else and those directed at selves. If this is true about negativity then it is also true about positivity. The more that we think thoughts of appreciation and love the better we will feel. And if thinking them is good, then speaking them out loud is even better. In applying this concept the wonderful thing about a compliment is that it lifts us just as much as it lifts the person receiving it.
Now, I know that this might be hard for some people, especially if they did not grow up with this kind of environment in their home. But just because it is hard does not mean it is not worth doing. We can all learn to do things we have not done before or even how to get over the awkwardness of doing things that make us feel uncomfortable. The more we do it, the more comfortable it will become. This progress can be identified as what I have learned is called the stages of competency.
The first stage in the stages of competency is unconscious incompetency, or not knowing that you cannot do something. Stage two is conscious incompetency, or knowing that you cannot do something. The third stage is conscious competency, or being able to do something if you concentrate very hard. The final stage, or stage of mastery, is called unconscious competency, meaning that you have done something long enough that you are competent without thinking about it. We went through these stages when we learned how to walk and now we walk around as unconscious of the way to do it as we are of how to breathe. Every single time we learn a new thing we go through these same stages. I like the idea of being aware of where I am in the progression with new things I am learning. It helps me remember that I cannot compare my stage 2 to someone else’s stage 4. I am a work in progress with that particular thing, just like they were once a stage 2 as well.
So my challenge for you today is to be consciously competent whether you are comfortable giving compliments or not. Take the time to notice people around you, how they look, what they say, what they do and genuinely compliment them on something positive you notice. They will feel a lift in their day and so will you.
Our Savior has told us that when we do kind things for those around us, it is like we are doing it for Him. So take a moment and be conscious of what you are doing for those around you and treat them the way you would treat Jesus if He were standing in their shoes.
1 Peter 4:
8 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
9 Use hospitality one to another without grudging.
Song: Let it Start with Me by No Other Name
Day 5 Challenge Video by Oléa: