I Am Not In Control!

Two weeks ago everything in my business was running very smoothly. I was feeling more successful as a businesswoman than I had ever before felt. I even needed to make some big purchases for my business and had the money in my account to do it for the first time ever. I was feeling cool, calm, collected and very in control.

Then suddenly it all fell apart.

Anything that could go wrong did. And my stress level went from minimal to completely overwhelming. I was supposed to teach a lesson in church about how building a relationship with the Savior is the only way we will find peace in life, especially when life feels turbulent. As I was preparing for that lesson, trying to create the visual aids and handouts on a brand new computer that didn’t have any of my comfortable familiar programs on it, I felt completely humbled. Taking a few hours to reconnect with heaven, desperately needing the help of my God reminded me that I am not in control. He is. And sometimes that humble realization is exactly what we need to slow down, switch gears, and pay attention so He can steer us to a completely different road than the one we have been traveling down.

Fast forward to today. I have been trying to get to Tremonton all week to visit a woman who runs a production company that my husband thought may be able to help me with some of my cutting requirements for the sets I am currently working on for my business. I kept rescheduling because I just couldn’t make the time fit into my schedule. But I had worked through the possibilities and felt confident that the only thing she would be able to help me with was cutting my bolts of felt into sheets, which would save me some time and still be worth making the trip and taking the time to talk to her. I walked out of that meeting with my head swimming with all the possibilities of how she could actually help me with almost every part of my processing and for less than I was currently spending trying to process it myself. I cried tears of gratitude for a good portion of the ride home realizing how very merciful our God is to us when we are willing to let Him take us out of our comfort zone and show us a different way.

I was telling a friend just how silly I felt. I was suddenly very aware of how much I limit myself because I am very comfortable in the little box I’ve built for myself. I don’t even want to look for ways to make my life easier or better because I am so sure that it cannot be done. But when I limit myself, I also limit God. Yet every time I have finally allowed Him to push me out of that box (or when absolutely everything goes wrong and so I finally climb out and look around) it always surprises me how incredibly better things really can be. I could never have imagined the glory of some of the places He has taken me or the possibilities He has shown me when I finally submit to His will rather than pushing for my own.

Now I pray for the courage and the faith to be still and trust Him to show me the next step rather than try to claw my way back into that box. It is all about submission and recognizing that we are not in control and that when we do finally give that control up He can make so much more of our lives, every single part of them, than we could ever imagine possible.

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