He Knows You and He Loves You

Have you ever had one of those days (or maybe even weeks) when you just don’t feel like you’re enough?  Like you aren’t measuring up to the expectations those around you have for you? Like no matter how much you do there just isn’t enough time to do all that is required?  Maybe you just feel lonely and unappreciated?

I think we all have those times!  Even those of us who normally feel cheerful, optimistic and blessed beyond measure… This post is for one of those days.

There is always one who loves you.  He knows you completely –  the best of you and the worst of you – and He still adores you! He knows your strengths and your weaknesses.  He knows you intentions and your desires. He knows how hard you try.  And He admires  you for all of those things.  In His eyes, there is no disappointment, only love. If you are feeling weak and weary…  If you are feeling broken and discarded… If you are feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated… He is there.  Go to Him.  Ask Him if He loves you.  You can find peace and comfort in His heavenly embrace. To Him, you are always enough!

Zephaniah 3:

17 Thy Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.

Song: I Am Loved

Favorite Find: God’s Love letter for you…

Talk: Living the Gospel Joyfully

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/10/living-the-gospel-joyful?lang=eng

Talk: Trust in the Lord

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1995/10/trust-in-the-lord?lang=eng

 

Look Up!

About a month ago my life imploded! A little dramatic maybe, but that’s how it felt. Things were going smoothly and relatively peacefully. It seems that God allows us to have those moments before it’s time for another growth spurt.

About a year ago we decided to put our house on the market. Three months later we had fixed anything that needed fixing, listed it, sold it and signed a one year lease on a rental house. Four months later my husband got a job in Tremonton (the area we were initially wanting to move to).  He was given a company car for the commute and a year to relocate to that vicinity. All of the sudden, about a month ago I started feeling a real urgency to look for our next move.  To be honest, I wanted to just bury my head in the sand and wait until the end of our lease to start looking. I did follow the prompting though and after some time looking, a lot of stressful feelings, and a little discouragement at not finding the place that felt right, the perfect option appeared out of nowhere!  We found a builder willing to carry the loan on a newly built house and we put an offer in on the lot.  This decision is extremely exciting and equally as stressful.  There is a lot of second guessing yourself and hoping you are making the right decision. There is also a lot of waiting on other people and hoping they are doing their jobs efficiently without anyway to verify.

About this same time I was struggling to make some weighty decisions with my business. I have been selling in some consignment stores for about 5 years now.  It has been hard to watch the “mom and pop” stores decline in business as internet sales have increased.  This was really effecting my sales (both declining at my booths and increasing online).  It felt like the right time to pull out of the stores, but at the same time even though they were not consistently producing, they were kind of my safety net as some months they did do well. It took a lot of faith to send my 30 day notices to these stores and hope that investing the same money in online marketing would produce needed results.  I have spent the last month going back and forth on this decision and feeling very torn.

Finally, about a month ago I was feeling a need to start pursuing my dream of publishing a book I had started and then put on the backburner. I brushed this feeling off and then was contacted three days later by a woman who was offering a course in writing, speaking, and creating a media presence.  I have wanted to do each of these things and my business has partially nudged me into these fields, but of course fear and excuses have held be back from really pursuing them.  This invitation resonated right to my core and after some intense consideration and prayer, I decided to invest in my dream.  Along with the investment of money came a very real investment of time… time for video conferences, assignments, collaborations and a whole lot of pondering!

With all these decisions and thoughts and worries heaped on my shoulders I have found myself walking around with my head drooping and wondering how I am going to do everything that is required of me.  How will I handle the waiting?  How will I make the right decisions?  How will I manage my time well enough to balance my load?  Even though these opportunities are so exciting, they also feel so big and overwhelming!  I was sitting in a church meeting when I heard a phrase that really hit home.  “It is better to look up.”

I don’t think it was until that moment that I realized I had been looking down and worrying about how I would handle everything on my plate.  I had forgotten that I am NEVER alone, I never have to handle everything by myself.  Of course!  When we partner with God, when we allow Him to help carry our load, and validate our decisions, and direct our path the way does not seem so scary or so hard.  And even though I had consulted Him at each of these crossroads, it is easy to slip back into that aloneness of independence on a daily basis.  It must be a daily decision, this looking up, sometimes an hourly one.  There will still be times of concern and doubt, but when these come we can use them as a sort of alarm, if you will, to remind us to conscientiously and intentionally look up!

Isaiah 40

26 Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who hath created these things, that bringeth out their host by number: he calleth them all by names by the greatness of his might, for that he is strong in power; not one faileth.

Psalm 123

1 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
2 My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.
3 He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.
4 Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand.
6 The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.
8 The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

Song:

I Will Look Up

Talk:

It is Better to Look Up

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/it-is-better-to-look-up?lang=eng

21 Day Walk with Christ Final Steps

Thank you so much for joining me on this walk with Christ as we prepared for this beautiful Easter day. I am so grateful for the many stories of Christ that we have in the Holy scriptures thanks to those who were faithful to record these experiences. I am so grateful for the power these stories add to my life as I take time to read and ponder on them. I am so grateful for the tools that we have been given to draw closer to our Savior, to build a personal relationship with Him. I am so blessed by an increased understanding of who Jesus is and of His nature, which grows each time I read the stories in the Gospels. I am most humbled by the knowledge that Jesus Christ loves me personally and yearns for a relationship with me. He has that same desire for each of us. He will gather us in His arms if we will allow it!

Song:

Come Unto Christ

Talk:

According To the Desire of our Hearts

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1996/10/according-to-the-desire-of-our-hearts?lang=eng

Soul Searching Question:

What will you do to continue your personal walk with Christ?

Note: A Special thank you to the many talented and inspired artists whose incredible works of art, music, or words added so much depth and beauty to this walk. No infringement of copyright was intended and I hope they will know how much the sharing of their gifts and talents contributed to our last 21 days.

Day 21: He is Risen

Luke 24:

1 Now upon the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they came unto the sepulchre, bringing the spices which they had prepared, and certain others with them.
2 And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre.
3 And they entered in, and found not the body of the Lord Jesus.
4 And it came to pass, as they were much perplexed thereabout, behold, two men stood by them in shining garments:
5 And as they were afraid, and bowed down their faces to the earth, they said unto them, Why seek ye the living among the dead?
6 He is not here, but is risen: remember how he spake unto you when he was yet in Galilee,
7 Saying, The Son of man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again.
8 And they remembered his words…

Even though Christ spoke of His impending death and resurrection many times to His closest followers, it’s clear that they did not fully comprehend what He was saying. It had never happened before. It was beyond their ability to understand. I am sure as they watched Him hanging lifelessly from the cross and then carefully transported His body to the tomb they felt lost and hopeless, completely heartbroken!

I can’t even fathom what went through the minds of the women heading to dress the Savior’s body that first Easter morning as the tomb came into view and they saw it opened with no guards in sight. What must the disciples have been thinking as they ran to verify what the women had told them. Did they remember the words Christ had spoken to them? Dared they hope?

I can, however, perfectly imagine the joy and exultation that must have flooded their hearts when He appeared to them face to face, spoke to them, ate with them. He broke the bands of death. He redeemed us from our foolish and rebellious mistakes. He is our Savior, Lord, and King. He lives!!

Song:

Hope’s Song

Talk: He is Risen

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1988/04/he-is-risen?lang=eng

Soul Searching Question:

How can you rejoice in and better worship the living Christ?

Day 20: He Suffered and Died for You

Luke 22:

39 ¶ And he came out, and went, as he was wont, to the mount of Olives; and his disciples also followed him.
40 And when he was at the place, he said unto them, Pray that ye enter not into temptation.
41 And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed,
42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.
43 And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him.
44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.
45 And when he rose up from prayer, and was come to his disciples, he found them sleeping for sorrow,
46 And said unto them, Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation.
47 ¶ And while he yet spake, behold a multitude, and he that was called Judas, one of the twelve, went before them, and drew near unto Jesus to kiss him.
48 But Jesus said unto him, Judas, betrayest thou the Son of man with a kiss?

54 ¶ Then took they him, and led him, and brought him into the high priest’s house. And Peter followed afar off.

Matthew 27:

27 Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the common hall, and gathered unto him the whole band of soldiers.
28 And they stripped him, and put on him a scarlet robe.
29 ¶ And when they had plaited a crown of thorns, they put it upon his head, and a reed in his right hand: and they bowed the knee before him, and mocked him, saying, Hail, King of the Jews!
30 And they spit upon him, and took the reed, and smote him on the head.
31 And after that they had mocked him, they took the robe off from him, and put his own raiment on him, and led him away to crucify him.

Mark 15:

22 And they bring him unto the place Golgotha, which is, being interpreted, The place of a skull.
23 And they gave him to drink wine mingled with myrrh: but he received it not.
24 And when they had crucified him, they parted his garments, casting lots upon them, what every man should take.
25 And it was the third hour, and they crucified him.

Luke 23:

45 Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land unto the ninth hour.
46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
47 Some of them that stood there, when they heard that, said, This man calleth for Elias.
48 And straightway one of them ran, and took a sponge, and filled it with vinegar, and put it on a reed, and gave him to drink.
49 The rest said, Let be, let us see whether Elias will come to save him.
50 ¶ Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost.

John 19:

38 ¶ And after this Joseph of Arimathæa, being a disciple of Jesus, but secretly for fear of the Jews, besought Pilate that he might take away the body of Jesus: and Pilate gave him leave. He came therefore, and took the body of Jesus.
39 And there came also Nicodemus, which at the first came to Jesus by night, and brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about an hundred pound weight.
40 Then took they the body of Jesus, and wound it in linen clothes with the spices, as the manner of the Jews is to bury.
41 Now in the place where he was crucified there was a garden; and in the garden a new sepulchre, wherein was never man yet laid.
42 There laid they Jesus therefore because of the Jews’ preparation day; for the sepulchre was nigh at hand.

Matthew 27:

60 … and he rolled a great stone to the door of the sepulchre, and departed.

Today I have posted just a few verses for a glimpse of the agony our Savior went through on that first Good Friday. His anguish began with the distress of the atonement in Gethsemane, followed by a painful betrayal at a friend’s hands, an unfair secret trial, the demand for His death by His own people, mockery and torment by soldiers who knew nothing of His mission or who He was, and finally a horrific death upon a cross. I would highly encourage you to read these chapters in each of the Gospels for your own personal understanding and insight of these events. (Matthew 27, Mark 15, Luke 23, and John 19)

It is hard for me to put into words my feelings about these torturous last hours of my Redeemer’s earthly life.  As I read talks, listened to music and watched videos to prepare myself for this post I found myself weeping with compassion for my Savior, remorse for my own part in His suffering, and gratitude for what He was willing to go through for each of us.  His love-driven willpower is incomprehensible to me.  As much as I know His Grace is an offering free of my earning it, it does make me want to prove my gratitude through my actions.  I want to show my love to Him by using my time wisely and serving Him and those around me well. I think one of the other important ways for us to show our appreciation to Him for all He did for us is to accept the gift He has offered.  We must allow His atonement to be applied to us and not just believe in its effectiveness for other people, but to really believe we personally can be cleansed, sanctified and empowered by it.

When I was younger and tried to picture the atonement made in our behalf, I would imagine Christ suffering for culminations of individual sins, for instance, first He would suffer for all the lies that were ever told, then for all the murders that were ever committed, then for all the impure thoughts that were ever considered, and so forth.  A combination of study and spiritual growth over the years has given me a better understanding of the reason for what our Savior went through. He was willing to suffer for us because He loves us wholly and completely.  He loves us individually and wanted to understand us each perfectly so that He could succor us in the exact way we need to be attended to.  I believe the atonement was much more personal than suffering for clumps of similar sins.  I believe He suffered individually for each of us.  I believe He knows every moment of my life, my joys, my sorrows, my strengths, my weaknesses, my sins, my sicknesses, and every burden I will ever carry.  I do not know by what miracle this is possible, but I believe He is the God of the individual and this is the only way He could truly know me well enough to care for me in every way I need Him to.  And I believe He did the same thing for each of you.  It is a personal atonement.  An atonement made one by one.  And I believe He would have been willing to do it even if you were the only one.

Song:

Lay Down My Life

Song:

Peace in Christ

Talk:

Gift of Grace

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/the-gift-of-grace?lang=eng

Talk:

Pattern For All

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2005/10/a-pattern-for-all?lang=eng

Soul Searching Question:

How can you allow the atonement to work in your life? Is their something specific you need to repent of? Is there something you’ve repented of you need to forgive yourself for?

Day 19: Love Much and Do What You Can Do

Luke 7:

36 ¶ And one of the Pharisees desired him that he would eat with him. And he went into the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to meat.
37 And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster box of ointment,
38 And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.
39 Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.
40 And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on.
41 There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty.
42 And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most?
43 Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.
44 And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head.
45 Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet.
46 My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment.
47 Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.
48 And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven.
49 And they that sat at meat with him began to say within themselves, Who is this that forgiveth sins also?
50 And he said to the woman, Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace.

This story is precious to me for a many different reasons, I will share three. I am amazed at the courage displayed by this woman to enter a home knowing how she was defined by those in her community because of her past mistakes. But she didn’t care. She cared much more about what Jesus thought of her than what anyone else did. I have carried my own heavy burdens of sin and I remember a particular time thinking, “What if people find out?” A few moments later I was led by the Spirit to a scripture that in essence said, “If you can stand before God at the last day with clean hands and a pure heart, what else matters?” This woman had learned that lesson and her story teaches us the same thing.

It is so obvious that she loved Jesus with her whole heart and truly understood His mission. She had faith in who He was and in what was necessary for Him to do to fulfill His purpose. She did more than just profess her belief vocally, but also acted on it by giving of her substance, love, and humility in a way that could be recognized by the Savior, by everyone else watching, and by those who would read her story for thousands of years.

Another reason why I love this story is how clearly it shows the tenderness of the Savior towards one who is remorseful and repentant. He knew what the other people in the room were thinking of her and He told them to leave her alone. He told them that He was well aware of her sins but that her love had more than made up for them. She was forgiven because she loved much! I see her example and I feel hope. Loving well is something each of us can do. We can love our Savior and care more about what He thinks of us than anyone else. We can show our love for Him by loving others and showing mercy to them. And honestly, I believe that is all God expects of us, to do our best and to love much. Because of this story, that has been my motto for many years now… Love much and do what you can do. I believe there is great mercy in that objective.

Song: Loving My Jesus

Talk:

He Means Me

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1979/04/he-means-me?lang=eng

Soul Searching Question: What can you do to show your love for the Savior and an understanding of His mission? How can you better show your love for Him?

Day 18: It is Lawful to Do Well

Matthew 12:

10 ¶ And, behold, there was a man which had his hand withered. And they asked him, saying, Is it lawful to heal on the sabbath days? that they might accuse him.
11 And he said unto them, What man shall there be among you, that shall have one sheep, and if it fall into a pit on the sabbath day, will he not lay hold on it, and lift it out?
12 How much then is a man better than a sheep? Wherefore it is lawful to do well on the sabbath days.
13 Then saith he to the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it forth; and it was restored whole, like as the other.

Mark 3:

1 And he entered again into the synagogue; and there was a man there which had a withered hand.
2 And they watched him, whether he would heal him on the sabbath day; that they might accuse him.
3 And he saith unto the man which had the withered hand, Stand forth.
4 And he saith unto them, Is it lawful to do good on the sabbath days, or to do evil? to save life, or to kill? But they held their peace.
5 And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other.

Luke 6:

6 And it came to pass also on another sabbath, that he entered into the synagogue and taught: and there was a man whose right hand was withered.
7 And the scribes and Pharisees watched him, whether he would heal on the sabbath day; that they might find an accusation against him.
8 But he knew their thoughts, and said to the man which had the withered hand, Rise up, and stand forth in the midst. And he arose and stood forth.
9 Then said Jesus unto them, I will ask you one thing; Is it lawful on the sabbath days to do good, or to do evil? to save life, or to destroy it?
10 And looking round about upon them all, he said unto the man, Stretch forth thy hand. And he did so: and his hand was restored whole as the other.

John 7:

21 Jesus answered and said unto them, I have done one work, and ye all marvel.
22 Moses therefore gave unto you circumcision; (not because it is of Moses, but of the fathers;) and ye on the sabbath day circumcise a man.
23 If a man on the sabbath day receive circumcision, that the law of Moses should not be broken; are ye angry at me, because I have made a man every whit whole on the sabbath day?
24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

There are stories in each of the Gospels of Jesus healing on the Sabbath.  I do not believe this is an insignificant thing. The traditions of their time were so concrete.  Christ bucked the system and this enraged the leaders of the day.  I have always told my kids that anger is a secondary emotion to a bigger underlying emotion.  I believe these men were scared.  They were scared of change.  They were scared of losing their status and their influence over the people.  They were scared to believe that the new teachings might apply to them. This fear paralyzed them.  It kept them from leaving their comfort zone. It kept them from progressing spiritually. It kept them from reaching out to others who needed them.  And clearly it kept them from feeling the Spirit witness of truth. Through His healing power and acts, our Savior was giving people back their lives!  And these men were so caught up in their rules and letter of the law that they had no compassion for the people hurting right in front of them or these miraculous changes that were happening right before their eyes.

Do we allow some of these fears to affect us?  Do we allow ourselves to get so caught up in the traditions of our culture (even within our church) to the point that we are incapable of leaving our boxes, of seeing needs that are outside those perceived lines?  Do we become so ingrained in the culture of our religion that we cannot feel the Spirit calling to us for change or redirection?  Cannot feel the promptings asking us to act in behalf of someone else?

Song:

Love Them Like Jesus

Talk:

Believe, Love, Do

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/10/believe-love-do?lang=eng

Soul searching Question: How can you demonstrate that people are more important than traditions or routines today?